Tuesday, May 18, 2010

14 weeks pregnant

I'm officially 14 weeks pregnant today! Does that mean I feel any better than I did two weeks ago? Hell no!
I still get nauseous when I don't eat every two hours on the dot.

I'm still a walking zombie and I'm still using the bathroom every hour or more.

Oh, and I still have the ugly broke out face around my mouth and chin that isn't clearing up with prescription roll on.

It's a hot mess I know. Oh, and that's my ugly hair color. My hair refuses to color properly while pregnant.

One good thing that has come of my pregnancy are my new found boobs. I love them!!!

Ps. I live in these dresses I got at target for 15.00. They are soft and long and perfectly pregnant chic for the chick on a budget, which I'm definitely on. I can't afford motherhood maternity with all these medical bills. It's target and old navy baby and I'm really not liking old navy right now but what ya gonna do.

At 14 weeks I have noticed a absence of my indigestion. Thank you Jesus! I really don't suffer like I did with the girls.

Peeing on yourself. The new forplay:

My latest annoyance is the bronchitis and the fact that every time I cough I pee on myself. You would think I'd get smart and put on a panty liner but I don't. I just cough and voilĂ , I pee on myself and then I get up and change my panties. My husband thinks I do this to tempt him. No honey. It's not about you. I've pissed myself and I'm simply changing undergarments so i don't marinate in my piss. He's still turned on. I don't get it. I just peed on myself and you have a hard on and want to bend me over in the closet while the kids play in the living room? Men. I could shit on myself and he would still want to do me. Nothing could turn him off. That's the kind of man you need in your life. I'm thinking he is a rare species indeed.

I feel fat and ugly and I have a double chin again that's only going to get worse in the next 20 weeks and he still thinks I'm attractive and tells me so.

When your feeling ugly try this:

I just focus on my boobies. Those suckers get me through the day. I parade around the house chanting "I have boobies, I have boobies". The girls think I've lost my mind. I often just stand naked in the mirror and admire them for a moment before getting dressed.
I do this because after the pregnancy and after the breastfeeding, I will be flatsy Patsy once again. Those damn small boobies. Blast em!

The sex life:

I can't have sex missionary any longer. That's the only position in which I can have an orgasm. The peen doesn't hit right in other positions. I get real close in other positions but it's just not hitting right. This could be a problem. I'm gonna try alex standing up with me on edge of bed. I hope that works for me.

Let's not even go there. I dream of Edward Cullen screwing me on a nightly basis and sometimes my ex from 11 years ago. We were high school sweethearts. I don't want him but why are we somewhat having sex in my dreams but then it switches back to my husband? I'll blame this on the hormones as well. I prefer Edward Cullen. I ask for him by name before closing my eyes. I'll see you tonight Edward.

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Location:Ferry St,Metropolis,United States

Monday, May 17, 2010

I didn't sign up for this

On march 9th, 2010 I saw a new OB GYN, for I was pregnant! (screams) I always have a miscarriage before I have a viable pregnancy that warrants me a beautiful child, but since I've had three miscarriages my dr wanted to do extensive bloodwork. I had no idea what it entailed. I shouldve asked. The thought never crossed my mind about how much it would cost. (How much could bloodwork cost anyway.)

Here is a list of things dr checked me for.

I'm 31 and married. A little late to check me for herpes!!

I have no idea what this gibberish is but best believe they charged me an arm and a leg for it and last but not least...............

Amphetamines??! R u serious!!! And I am SO not lying when I tell you that the amphetamines test was 553.00. It was the most expensive out of all the others. I couldve just told them I don't do amphetamines and saved myself a lot of money, but they never asked :(

Those three pages of testing invoice came to a total of 1547.12 after insurance discount. Insurance paid 1079.55 and I'm stuck with paying the rest.

So out of this test I found out I had antiphospholipid syndrome which may or may not have contributed to past miscarriages, and they wanted me to give myself expensive shots every day(as if I could afford). I take a dollar general baby aspirin instead.
I found out I have a folic acid deficiency so more pills to pop (yay me)
I found out I have to get a 40.00 a week ultrasound until I'm 23 weeks pregnant.(again. So broke)

So basically I found out I have to spend a lot of additonal money just because of that blasted cream of the crop blood exam. Conspiracy? Probably.

My 11 weeks ultrasound. Weeks 12 and 13 they ripped me off Nd didn't supply me with 3d ultrasound.

I go this Thursday for my 14 weeks some odd days ultrasound. They say we will be able to tell the sex but can't u see the sex right now? ;)

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Reese pampers mommy

Here I lay on the green chenille couch embarking on my 14th week of
pregnancy. I found out really early I was pregnant. I don't recommend
it. As I lay here, my five year old daughter brushes my hair
lovingly, telling me to lift my head up and also telling me if scooby
doo isn't to my liking I can watch something else. I am actually very
relaxed right now. She has now offered up another service. Braids.
"How many braids mom?". "Oh, I'll take however many you deem
appropriate." Every once in a while she takes a break to look at the
tv and pluck hair from the thick bristle brush. I wish she would just
get back to brushing already but I don't want to seem overly eager as
they never like to do things for long that you enjoy so I will sit
here and act indifferent. Oh. She just asked me if I wanted to watch a
grown up movie. I must be doing something right. I never get offered

Sent from my iPhone
Laurie Ellis