Tuesday, May 18, 2010

14 weeks pregnant

I'm officially 14 weeks pregnant today! Does that mean I feel any better than I did two weeks ago? Hell no!
I still get nauseous when I don't eat every two hours on the dot.

I'm still a walking zombie and I'm still using the bathroom every hour or more.

Oh, and I still have the ugly broke out face around my mouth and chin that isn't clearing up with prescription roll on.

It's a hot mess I know. Oh, and that's my ugly hair color. My hair refuses to color properly while pregnant.

One good thing that has come of my pregnancy are my new found boobs. I love them!!!

Ps. I live in these dresses I got at target for 15.00. They are soft and long and perfectly pregnant chic for the chick on a budget, which I'm definitely on. I can't afford motherhood maternity with all these medical bills. It's target and old navy baby and I'm really not liking old navy right now but what ya gonna do.

At 14 weeks I have noticed a absence of my indigestion. Thank you Jesus! I really don't suffer like I did with the girls.

Peeing on yourself. The new forplay:

My latest annoyance is the bronchitis and the fact that every time I cough I pee on myself. You would think I'd get smart and put on a panty liner but I don't. I just cough and voilĂ , I pee on myself and then I get up and change my panties. My husband thinks I do this to tempt him. No honey. It's not about you. I've pissed myself and I'm simply changing undergarments so i don't marinate in my piss. He's still turned on. I don't get it. I just peed on myself and you have a hard on and want to bend me over in the closet while the kids play in the living room? Men. I could shit on myself and he would still want to do me. Nothing could turn him off. That's the kind of man you need in your life. I'm thinking he is a rare species indeed.

I feel fat and ugly and I have a double chin again that's only going to get worse in the next 20 weeks and he still thinks I'm attractive and tells me so.

When your feeling ugly try this:

I just focus on my boobies. Those suckers get me through the day. I parade around the house chanting "I have boobies, I have boobies". The girls think I've lost my mind. I often just stand naked in the mirror and admire them for a moment before getting dressed.
I do this because after the pregnancy and after the breastfeeding, I will be flatsy Patsy once again. Those damn small boobies. Blast em!

The sex life:

I can't have sex missionary any longer. That's the only position in which I can have an orgasm. The peen doesn't hit right in other positions. I get real close in other positions but it's just not hitting right. This could be a problem. I'm gonna try alex standing up with me on edge of bed. I hope that works for me.

Let's not even go there. I dream of Edward Cullen screwing me on a nightly basis and sometimes my ex from 11 years ago. We were high school sweethearts. I don't want him but why are we somewhat having sex in my dreams but then it switches back to my husband? I'll blame this on the hormones as well. I prefer Edward Cullen. I ask for him by name before closing my eyes. I'll see you tonight Edward.

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Location:Ferry St,Metropolis,United States

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